It’s a big weekend for WWE, with Money In The Bank and NXT Heatwave coming to us from the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Money In The Bank tends to change the landscape of WWE for months, if not the entire year to come, so a lot of eyes are focused on what happens here.
We have two Money In The Bank Ladder matches, two title matches, and a huge six-man tag on the card tonight. There have been surprises essentially promised, as well, so let’s see what unfolds.
Jey Uso vs Andrade vs LA Knight vs Chad Gable vs Carmelo Hayes vs Drew McIntyre – Men’s Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Money In The Bank should always start off with one of its namesake matches. It’s guaranteed to get the crowd amped up, and should hopefully set the tone for the rest of the night.
After ten-plus minutes of entrances, we’re underway. As expected, the crowd is firmly behind both Mr. Uso and Mr. Knight here.
Andrade nearly breaks Melo in half with a springboard Spanish Fly onto a ladder. Ouch.
You know that guy who is almost always sitting in the front row at WWE shows? The one in the green shirt with the smiley face on it? He’s smack dab in the middle of the front row again… wearing a white shirt with a smiley face on it. What the f*ck is even happening right now?!? We might be heading for a disaster of biblical proportions! Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! MASS HYSTERIA!
Before anyone mentions it, yes, I’m aware of the “everyone should wear white” thing that went around before the show, although I’d say 25% of the crowd, at most, is wearing white. Not a very well put together social media experiment, I guess.
Our first poorly timed spot that plague all types of ladder matches… Melo climbs a ladder to grab the briefcase, and Andrade is set to break it up. Either Melo was early or Andrade was late, because Melo was basically forced to stand there, fingers on the briefcase, for multiple seconds and wait for Andrade to finally reach him.
Just when it looked like Jey was going to win, he had things taken from him at the last second. He had his hands on the briefcase, only to have Drew McIntyre throw another ladder at him, javelin style, hitting him in the face. After Jey falls, he gets to his feet and eats a Claymore, leading to Drew climbing the ladder and picking up the win.
Good match, but perhaps not as memorable as many were hoping it would be. It had big spots, but not the innovative highlight reel ones that many matches of this type usually feature. It’s the same way I felt about the TNT Title ladder match at AEW Forbidden Door last weekend, so I’m going to give this the same grade as that match. 3.5 Stars
Sami Zayn vs Bron Breakker – WWE Intercontinental Title Match
Bron’s tan is absolutely insane. He’s darker than some of the black guys I know, but it’s not poorly put on like MJF’s spray tans are. MJF shows up on pay-per-views with 39 different shades of brown and orange all over himself, looking ridiculous. Bron, on the other hand, at least has his tan evenly applied.
Alright, that’s enough about tans.
We’re a few minutes in, and this has damn near been a squash so far. Bron is bigger, stronger, faster, and more athletic than Sami, and it shows.
Whenever Sami goes on offense, it seems to last all of a move or two before he gets flattened by the challenger.
Thankfully, things picked up a bit in the second half. Not that the first half was bad, but Sami finding a way to make it more even made this a better match to watch. Lots of back-and-forth action down the final stretch, but in the end, Sami’s resilience allowed him to hit a surprise Helluva Kick to get the win. Bron doesn’t “lose” in a loss, because he looked like a monster. I’m not sure we’ve ever seen an athlete like him in WWE before. He wasn’t successful tonight, but he has one of the brightest futures ever, and barring injury, there’s no doubt that he’s going to be a World Champion much sooner than later. 4 Stars
Before the next match, MITB host Trish Stratus announces John Cena, who comes out to a huge ovation. As soon as Cena gets on the mic, he… officially announces his retirement?!? What did I tell you about mass hysteria?!?
As he talks more, he reveals that it’s a retirement tour. He says that he’s going to make sure he’s on Raw when the show moves to Netflix, and then mentions the 2025 editions of the Royal Rumble, Elimination Chamber, and WrestleMania will be the final ones of his career.
Damn. I’ve written about this before, but Cena is my pick for the WWE GOAT, based on his career and what he accomplished in the company. Obviously, he hasn’t been anything close to a full-time wrestler in a long time, but it’s still emotional to think that we’re about to wrap things up for good. He wraps his promo up with a tag line that is also all over his new merch… the last time is now. That’s brilliant.
Damian Priest vs Seth Rollins – World Heavyweight Title Match
There are added stipulations here, as revealed on Raw. If Priest wins, Rollins can’t challenge for the title again as long as Priest is the champion. However, if Rollins wins, Priest must leave The Judgment Day. That definitely adds to the intrigue. For the 897th (give or take) match in a row, Priest has told his Judgment Day brethren he wants to do things on his own, and tells them to stay in the back. Everyone seems okay with it, except for Finn Balor, who seems to be teasing a turn on Priest.
It’s still early, of course, but it seems like Rollins is wrestling more of a “safe” style here, almost like he’s not 100% confident in his knees. They’ve been through hell over the years. We’ve seen a billion pro athletes work like that after returning from major injuries and surgeries, so it’s not a huge surprise.
Call it Seth’s unease, or whatever other “excuse” you want, but there have been three or four awkward spots so far in the match. Nothing too crazy, or that they couldn’t save at the last second, but they just don’t seem to have their timing fully in sync tonight. It’s still a fun match, but those awkward moments can’t be ignored.
To continue with that theme, someone just f*cked something up pretty royally. Seth goes to pin Priest, and the ref counts one, two, and then stops before hitting three… even though Priest didn’t kick out. The arena goes nuts booing the whole thing, and then Drew McIntyre’s music hits, bringing Mr. Money In The Bank out.
McIntyre cashes in, and it is officially a Triple Threat. CM Punk is here! Michael Cole says “holy sh*t” on commentary as Punk begins beating Drew’s ass like he owed him money.
“What the hell are you doing, Phil?!?” – Michael Cole to Punk, who sits on the announce table.
“My job!” – Punk, responding to Cole.
After Punk’s attack, Priest puts McIntyre out and gets the pin. The champion retains his title. The Money In The Bank winner cashes in and fails. The initial challenger is now out of title shots for the foreseeable future.
I’ll give the match 3 Stars. Like I said, there were just some awkward moments that didn’t help the match reach a higher level. Of course, none of that will be remembered, anyway, as everything after McIntyre’s insertion into the match is what will be talked about. Drew might very well kill Punk after everything he’s done, but come on… maybe Drew shouldn’t have announced to the world what he was going to do if he won Money In The Bank. He has nobody to blame but himself here.
Naomi vs Tiffany Stratton vs Iyo Sky vs Lyra Valkyria vs Chelsea Green vs Zoey Stark – Women’s Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Tiffany Stratton gets the biggest face pop during the entrances, but it might come as a surprise to many that Chelsea Green may have received the second biggest pop. There are even “Chelsea” chants, including some more as soon as the opening bell is heard. Hilariously, Chelsea stands on the mat below the briefcase and tries to grab it with a standing vertical jump. She then grabs a ladder and… uses it to try and knock the briefcase down that way. Protect this woman at all costs.
Zoey Stark attempts a springboard move into the ring, only to end up landing back-of-her-head first on a ladder. f*cking ouch.
When you call a wrestling match a “train wreck,” it could mean a couple different things. This match, thus far, has been a train wreck in every way possible, good and bad. It has been a very physical match, but sometimes, that physicality has been ugly, complete with a botch or two and some awkward moments.
You know… that was quite the match. It wasn’t always the prettiest thing in the world, but ladder matches probably shouldn’t be. It seemed like we were getting someone planted onto a ladder every minute or so. The end saw Chelsea Green a millisecond away from winning, only to have the ladder tipped over by Tiffany Stratton, sending Chelsea flying to the outside, where she crashed through multiple tables. Now, Tiffy Time is upon us.
Pure chaos from start to finish. 4 Stars
Cody Rhodes, Kevin Owens & Randy Orton vs Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga & Jacob Fatu – Six-Man Tag Match
Jacob Fatu has had legal issues in the past, and those issues have prevented him from doing a lot of travel outside of the United States. WWE has decided to take that negative and flip it into a positive. On commentary, Corey Graves mentions that WWE and Triple H have had to work very hard to make a deal that would allow the Samoan Werewolf into the country of Canada. They don’t mention the legal issues, but instead, say that Canada initially didn’t want him there because of how dangerous he is. That’s a great touch.
“f*ck you, Solo” chants at the opening bell. Welp.
Kevin Owens tags in and begins beating the hell out of Tama Tonga, drawing a crowd pop that sounds like he just won the World Title. Goodness gracious, Toronto loves them some KO.
Randy Orton hits Jacob Fatu with his patented DDT as Jacob is draped over the middle rope. As soon as Fatu hits the mat, he stands right back up. You would think, after decades of Samoan wrestlers, people would learn that you can’t hurt a Samoan by hitting them in the head.
More “f*ck you, Solo” chants whenever the man tags in. Somewhere, the Fox censors are hitting buttons out of instinct like a nervous tic.
What a wild ride this has been. The crowd has been red hot for everything all six men have done, and the match has been extra physical.
This poor ref got taken out, made it back to his feet a couple minutes later, and then got taken out again.
After an insane sprint of a final stretch, the current Undisputed WWE Champion was just pinned by Solo Sikoa. Some might not like it, but it’s the outcome that makes the most sense here if you’re trying to get Solo a title shot at SummerSlam. Non-stop action, with everyone looking great, although Jacob Fatu is probably the man who looks the best. He has been made to look like a huge deal since making his debut. This match gets 4.25 Stars, and I think that might be underselling it to some.
A pretty good show from beginning to end, with a ton of storylines advancing or being created. Very, very newsworthy.
